Mad Moxxi's Underwear Riot III - A rousing reminiscence
by Pantaleon
Summary: Mordecai and Mad Moxxi used to be a couple. Then came Handsome Jack. Now Jack is dead and old sparks rekindle... Prepare for eloquent erotica and in-character lemon, with all the innuendo and intimation you know and love about Borderlands! Mordecai/Moxxi [currently rated T, will ultimately become M]
1. Heroes!

"Come on, guys! One more round, jus' one more!", roared Brick and slammed his empty mug onto the counter of Moxxi's bar. The colossal man's booming voice was slurred by many jugs of Rakk-ale and worse liquors.

Moxxi's Bar lay strewn with the remnants of what had probably been the biggest party the city of Sanctuary had ever seen. Empty tankards covered every flat surface in the taproom. Over at one of the tables, Zer0 had managed to stack them up to a pyramid that had almost reached the ceiling. Now however, it lay in shambles after Axton and Salvador had used it as target in their shooting contest. Axton had later mysteriously disappeared, and coincidentally since that competition nobody had seen Maya either. Salvador however was still there, at least physically. The short vault hunter was lying on one of the plushy benches and was happily snoring away. He might have overextended himself during his drinking contest with Brick. Or his drinking contest with Axton. Or the one with Lilith, Krieg, Marcus, Dr Zed or Mr Torgue. Most of them had long since found a place to sleep, whether in a bed, in the pub or in the gutter. The only still sober person in the room was Moxxi. She was standing behind the bar and cleaning glasses in the most sensual way possible. Her well-versed hands kept thrusting her towel deep into the warm and wet jugs, making sure to polish even the most intimate of places. All the while the buxom innkeeper was still sporting her enticing smile, seemingly unscathed by the evening's stresses and strains.

"I think," Lilith put a slender hand on Brick's shoulder, both to hold him back and to steady herself. Her fiery orange hair was disheveled and hanging in front of her face. She was looking at her friend slightly cross-eyed, she had also drunk her fair share of booze. The slender Siren raised her right hand and prodded Brick's massive shoulder. "I think you've had enough, big boy."

Brick looked at her like a sad little puppy. "But- but... We just defeated Handsome Jack!", he shook his fist insistently. "An' Hyperion! An' the Warrior! We jus' saved the whole goddam' planet, don' you un'erstand?"

"Yea victory", mumbled Salvador from his bench before dozing off into his drunken slumber again.

"Yes, Brick, we've won. That's why we've been drinking all day. But now we gotta go to bed, okay?", Lilith tried to persuade him once again and pulled his massive arm. The dead drunk mountain of muscle didn't move. Lilith helplessly dropped Brick's paw and looked at Moxxi on the other side of the bar. "Moxxi, could you give me a hand getting him off this chair?"

The barmaid smiled her alluring smile. "Oh of course I'll help you get him off." She winked at the svelte woman. Moxxi stopped polishing glasses and put down the towel. Sashaying around the counter and teasing her gracile finger along the shiny surface, she came over to Brick who was still downcast about his empty mug.

"Hello there, Sugar", Moxxi purred and traced her finger teasingly up his arm, "You seem to be the only man still standing. Unfortunately, I have to close up the bar now, but I wouldn't mind continuing the party somewhere else...", she gave him a meaningful look.

Brick's cocked his head and mustered her.

"I am alluding to sex", she explained, slightly annoyed.

Brick's face immediately lit up and he scrambled to get of his bar stool. In the process he forgot his state of inebriation and almost fell, fortunately for him Lilith was in the way. Unfortunately for Lilith, Brick fell on her. The Siren was forced to push him back to his feet in order to keep herself from getting her own slender frame squashed on the bar floor. Not an easy feat, given Brick's gargantuan frame. Somehow, the juggernaut managed to regain his balance and stagger towards the door, guided and stabilised by Lilith.

The odd pair stumbled outside. The bright neon sign above Moxxi's Bar tinged the dark street in a sultry claret red.

The former Queen of the Underdome stopped on the door sill behind the two."Just go on ahead my lovelies, will you? I just have to take care of few things in here", she chirped.

Brick stopped and turned around. He eyed her suspiciously, opening and closing his fist indecisively. "Is this sum kind'o trick? You jus' want me to get out o' your bar!", he growled and wrenched himself away from Lilith's supporting arm, which inevitably sent him swaying. It was a grotesque picture. The wavering monster of a man was towering over the unarmed Moxxi while trying to seem scary, but he only ended up looking like a miffed schoolboy.

His narrowed eyes couldn't match Moxxi's sly smirk. "Do you really want to take that risk?" She gave her bulging chest a slight jiggle and cocked an eyebrow.

Brick grimaced and gave in. "But you hurry! 'cus when you don't come I'll jus' go to bed!"

He turned on his heel as elegantly as a rat-arsed bullymong and stomped off.

Lilith watched him stumble into the night before giving the older brunette an impressed nod. "That was... easy."

Moxxi winked. "I make everyone look easy."

The siren giggled and brushed a few strands of flame red hair from her face"Well, I'll better go after him and make sure he doesn't run into a wall and tries to beat it up or something."

"You do that. It would be a shame about the wall."

Lilith giggled again. "Good night, see you tomorrow!" She gave a slightly awkward wave.

"Good night, Sugar." Moxxi blew her a kiss and watched the fiery siren scurry into the night.


	2. Vigil

He stood on top of the tallest house in Sanctuary. He liked this place. He liked the view. The city looked so peaceful from up here. Golden light shone through sturdy windows down into the cozy alleys. The moonlight let the metal roofs gleam like silver. With all the garlands and lanterns they had brought out, the city actually looked beautiful. It seemed like all the piles of rusty junk and trash had politely retreated into the darker corners. Most people had gone to bed by now. Those who had drunk too much now lay beneath the tables sleeping off their hangover. A few couples had settled into the cozier niches of the city and were enjoying the gentle warmth of the summer air. Somewhere on the Plaza, a radio was still playing. The faint melody drifted dreamily through the night and up to his watch post.

Maniacal laughter cut through the serene calmness. Krieg was hopping across the plaza, pirouetting and prancing around like an overjoyed child. Mordecai couldn't help but chuckle briefly. He made a note in his head for future reference: Never give an unstable violent psychopath alcohol to drink. Who knows what could happen. His eyes turned sad again, but the echo of his smile lingered. At least some people were still able to be happy. Even if it were the insane ones.

Something rustled behind him. Uncertain footsteps, the gentle breath of a woman. He knew the sounds.

She drew breath to say something, but then no words left her mouth. Mordecai remained motionless. Another insecure step. The heel of her boot quietly touched the roof. Another breath. Another silence.

"You were not celebrating with the others." Moxxi's voice was little more than a whisper.

"There was nothing for me to celebrate." His voice was low and rasping. He hadn't used it in a while. "It feels wrong." He paused. "Many good people died so we could be here. So many good people. Roland. And-" his voice failed him before he could say "Bloodwing."

Quiet. He could feel her urge to say something. "Many people called it the most beautiful day in years", she tried again.

Mordecai closed his eyes and took a breath of the mild summer air. "Let them call it what they will. Let them sing and dance and get shitfaced. Who am I to judge their actions? But don't expect me to join in."

He could hear her smile. There was no sound, but he knew she smiled. She took a step towards him.

"It just feels so wrong to me. They dance as if all of this was a happy ending. How can they forget all the pain we had to go through to get here?" The hunter clenched his fist helplessly.

"Sometimes, forgetting is the only way to stay sane in this world." the gentle sound of Moxxi's voice felt like balsam and soothed his haggard soul.

"Sane? This is Pandora, nobody here is sane", Mordecai replied jokingly. As if to underline his words, Krieg's frenzied laughter welled up again. Apparently the madman had convinced some other drunkards to join him in his grotesque dance.

She stepped beside him and laughed. This time he could here it. "You see? It means they won't forget. At least not everything."

The hunter smiled and nodded, absorbed in thought. "That may very well be."

There was another silence. But this time, it was not the uncomfortable kind.

"I thought you were dead."

Mordecai turned his head and looked at her for the first time. In the darkness her eyes seemed like deep pools, inlaid with sparkling emeralds. The delicate pallor of her face glowed like the moon.

"Seeing you and the others charge into that cave and knowing what Jack was capable of...", she trailed off. The hunter knew that she didn't want to talk about Jack. "And when your ECHO-connection died and we couldn't reach you anymore-", the growing lump in her throat made her velvety voice sound strained, "I thought I'd lost you. For good this time."

Mordecai carefully raised his hand to her face. He hesitated briefly before tenderly stroking her face and brushing away a strand of her chestnut hair. "Oh my Moxxi..." and with a smirk he replied: "I never die. Not while you're still around."

She blessed him with a giggle and chirped, "I hope so."

Her view moved to look over the city. Not quite sure, the hunter pulled back his hand from her face. A strange tingle lingered in his fingers, as if they didn't want to let go.

Another silence. This time it was he who broke it. "You'll have to thank Brick, actually. He was the one who saved me"

"Thanks, I will. I guess owe him quite a bit by now."

Mordecai looked at her questioningly, but quickly shook it off.

"It's a shame though that you couldn't be the one to kill Jack", Moxxi deplored with sudden viciousness.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Is that your idea of romance or something? Your Ex killing your evil second Ex?"

She cocked her head, deliberating. "Yes, maybe that's why. Or maybe it's the image of a sniper bullet making his handsome little head pop like a cherry."

"You don't have to worry about that one. As far as I know Lilith gave it to him hard."

She snickered. "Your innuendos are still crap."

"What do you mean?" the hunter was confused. "What innuendo?

Moxxi's suppressed snicker welled up into a laugh, while the puzzled Mordecai could just stare at her until he finally understood. "Oh I see! "Gave it to him. Hard." Okay. Yea, that's a bit ambiguous." Now he had to laugh as well.

She shook her head. He was a hopeless case. After a calm moment of chuckling, she changed the topic. "Did you ever think about what Pandora would be like if all this had never happened? If Jack had never shown up?" She let her view wander across the sleeping city.

"No Handsome Jack and no Hyperion? Seems like a bad fairy story now, doesn't it? That time when Hyperion was just another corporation that made guns?" He shrugged and chuckled incredulously, but then he suddenly turned serious. "I thought about it every blasted day since they raided New Haven. It's what kept me from sleeping at night and from sobering up during the day." Suddenly he wished he had something to drink. It was easier to have visions of a brighter world when drunk.

Moxxi leaned on his shoulder and took his hand. Her skin was soft like silk, strangely out of place in his bony fingers. The hunter felt her eyes on him and when he met her gaze a deep warmth filled his stomach.

"Maybe it wasn't all for nothing", she whispered and gently squeezed his fingers. "Do you want to give it a second chance?" There was no jest in her voice. "You know, what we had together. For those old times' sake."

Mordecai hesitated

"I got Rakk-ale", she offered hopefully.

A smirk crept up the corner of his mouth.


	3. Trade Secrets

„... so then Zer0 just put his gun down and said", Mordecai straightened up and mimicked the assassin's smoky voice, "You managed to shoot / the holographic apple/ that is impressive."

"And then? Did he get angry?", Moxxi asked eagerly and nestled up against his arm while they walked through Sanctuary's dark streets.

"No, not at all! He was actually really polite the whole time." He shrugged. "I'll never get that guy... He's still crazy good with a sniper though", the hunter declared as they stepped around the entwined and half-naked bodies of a sleeping couple. Choosing the path through the small alleys to get back to _Moxxxi's_ might not have been the best choice, but otherwise they would have had to walk across the main plaza. Judging by the sounds echoing through the night, Krieg and his friends were either making bouquets from intestines over there or just singing love songs. He couldn't decide which was more discomforting.

"So how did you do it?", Moxxi asked and poked his flank.

"Do what?"

"Shoot out the hologram of course! As it was just an incorporeal projection of polarised light, there was no physical barrier for a projectile to disintegrate. Ergo, your bullet should have have passed straight through it, leaving it unaltered."

"Wow, I didn't know you were smart." The hunter said, visibly taken aback by the sudden salvo of technical terminology.

Moxxi raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, don't get me wrong! Of course you're smart, but I never expected you to go all... sciency. "He grinned. "Sexy and smart at the same time? Now that's like a Maliwan Hellfire! Maybe even hotter than that," he smirked, "Unfortunately though I have no idea what half of those words mean."

"Well, thanks for the compliment, Sugar. I do have a few hidden talents." She winked at him. "So? You still haven't answered my question."

"Well, that is something of a trade secret."

Moxxi pushed out her full lips to form a disappointed pout."Come on Honey, don't be that way!"

"Well... I guess I can make an exception for you...", He looked at her with conspiratorial eyes and then leaned down to bring his face close to her ear. He could smell the delicate fragrance of her hair. Mordecai could feel her body straining with excitement, whether from the story or his proximity. He relished the brief moment before whispering almost inaudibly: "Shock weapon."

She lolled her head sensually and purred like a sated cat. "Clever", Moxxi hummed and curled her exquisite lips to a smile.

"I do have a few more trade secrets up my sleeve", the hunter grinned, "And not all of them are about guns or killing things", he added meaningfully.

"Oh stop, you!" she pushed him away with a playful nudge and waved him off as if embarrassed by the intimation.

When they finally sauntered into a small square they were greeted by the red glow of the neon "Moxxxi's" sign on the wall of the bar.

The brunette pulled out her key and opened the side entrance. "And there we are! Come on in, Love." She held the door open and gestured him through. Moxxi didn't bother moving aside by much and let her breasts casually brush against his chest as he stepped past.

**I hope you are having a fantastic time with this so far! I definitely am. F****ollow the fanfic to stay updated at all times! Feel free to leave a review, and tell me if there was something you did not like or that felt strange. That way I can always improve it and give you the best story!**


	4. Poison

The combined smell of beer, spirits, gunpowder, human effluvia and a more intense version of Moxxi's luscious perfume struck Mordecai's senses when he entered the barroom. He could almost taste the muggy air on his tongue. The hunter had to take a moment to acclimatise before looking around. The boozing patrons had all left or had been thrown out, but their battlefield remained. Pizza boxes, glasses, bottles and rifle magazines in various stages of depletion littered the tables and the liquor-marinated floor. Mordecai's boots squelched when he lifted them from the sticky wooden planks.

"Looks like you people had quite the party in here", the scraggy sharpshooter remarked while studying disarrayed scene.

"Nothing I can't handle." She dismissed it with a nonchalant gesture of the hand. "I'll just find myself some kind of servant to clean this mess up tomorrow." She winked.

Mordecai cocked his head, but Moxxi had already turned and was already making her way behind the counter.

"So what'll be your poison then?" She shuffled through the bottles behind the bar. "A Lemon, Lime and Bullets? Gargle Blaster? What about a Fanalian Teddy?"

The hunter grimaced. "That's cough syrup." He leaned closer, "Actually you can make me perfectly happy with some good old fashioned Rakk-ale."

"That's all it takes?" She cocked her head. "Come on, leave the simple tastes for the to the simple minds."

"It's what I always drink!" Mordecai shoved himself away from the bar and raised his hands in defense.

"Exactly!" She winked. "Just change it up a little. Tell you what, let me mix you a cocktail. Just one."

The hunters expression softened. "Fine. But it better be a good one!"

"Oh it sure will, Sugar, don't you worry." There was a strange, cryptic hum in her reply that made him wonder what he had gotten himself into.

The Moxxi immediately started rummaging through the shelves, picking out bottles, checking labels or smelling contents before parking them on the counter. "And you're sure you've never tried one of my famous cocktails?", she asked while holding an unmarked bottle up to the light. Its contents twinkling in a royal blue

"I never said that." Mordecai was casually leaning on the bar, watching the alluring barkeeper work her magic.

"But if you had, you'd know how good they are."

"You sound quite confident of you skills."

"Do I really?" She sassily met his gaze and placed the bottle on the bar with pointed deliberation. "Maybe that's because I am", she whispered.

"Modesty really isn't one of your virtues, is it?"

Moxxi had already whirled around again, rustling up more ingredients. Her voice replied from somewhere below the bar, together with clunks and clattering. "Virtue? Modesty is not a virtue." Her hands climbed into view, holding two shiny metal jars. "And if it was," The rest of the buxom lady rose from behind the counter. She put down the jars next to the arsenal of bottles and adjusted her coat. "It really wouldn't fit me." It seemed to Mordecai that her neckline came to rest a little lower than before, revealing even more of her bulging cleavage. After she was satisfied with the situation, she looked back at him with a wink. "Don't you think?"

"I'm sorry, what? I was... distracted there for a moment."

She giggled and turned towards her bottles again. "Forget it, you just proved my point anyway."

With all her ingredients present the bartender placed two slender tumblers on the bar and went to mixing cocktails. She poured liquors known and unknown to the hunter into the glasses, strained layers of exotic liquids into beakers.

She wasn't making a cocktail, Modecai eventually decided. What she was doing there on the counter reminded him more of an occult Athenian ritual or one of Dr. Zed's questionable experiments, although she handled her alchemical constituents with a whole lot more manual dexterity. Moxxi's fingers whizzed about in an indiscernible pattern and Mordecai eventually had to stop trying to follow her hands when she started twirling the cocktail shaker about. Watching her lithe body rock and shimmy to the rhythm of the shaker was just too hypnotising.

**Thank you all for your support, my friends! It has been a real blast so far.**

**Unfortunately, I have been uploading chapters faster than I can write them. I want to keep supplying you with high-quality content, so the intervals between uploads will have to become longe**

**But stay tuned, more will follow as soon as possible!**


	5. Juice

As quickly as it had started, the performance was over. With a large showy gesture she poured the last ingredients into the glasses. Only then did Mordecai actually realise that she'd been mixing two different cocktails. One was a fruity purple and the other one had a saucy yellow colour. Moxxi added a last a last squirt and a pinch of shimmering lilac powder to the purple drink and slid it over to the still baffled Vault Hunter.

"You made two cocktails?" He cocked his head. "Or is this some really fancy stuff that has several courses?"

"Now that's an idea I have to try out!" She laughed and picked up the yellow drink. "But no, this one is for me."

"I see." He muttered, not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed

"However," she nodded towards his glass with a meaningful smirk, "I still hope that this one will be only the first of many courses."

"That, dear, will depend solely on this drink."

"Now does it really? I doubt it." Her sly expression remained unchanged. "And how am I doing so far?" she cocked her head.

Mordecai picked up his glass and eyed the roiling concoction. "So far, quite well", he replied, visibly impressed. Slowly he brought the tumbler to his mouth, took a hesitant sip – and almost choked. "Fuck!", he managed to wheeze between grunting coughts.

Moxxi's laughter chimed like golden bells. "What did you expect, fruit juice?", she asked while taking a jaunty mouthful of her own drink.

The vault hunter banged his fist onto the counter, blinking away tears and trying to calm his breath. "I don't- whoa!", he shook his head to throw the double images before his eyes back into position.

After a few calming breaths, he tried again: "I don't know what I expected, but... well, not this." The hunter beamed with amazement and raised the glass again. This time he knew what to expect so the second hit wasn't as hard. Still, it made him suck a sharp breath of air through his teeth.

Mordecai slammed the glass onto the bar, threw his head back and let out a roar of laughter. "This stuff is good!", he boomed, but in a sudden attack of dizziness he almost lost his footing.

"Careful, dear! I wouldn't want to lose you like this", Moxxi called out and quickly grabbed his wrist.

The man carefully placed his hands on the counter until his sense of balance had recovered enough. "I guess I still have to get used that."

"Yea, Eridium sometimes does that too you", the brunette pointed out casually, "Don't worry though, it doesn't last long."

"Eridium, huh?" he raised the glass against the light and eyed the glimmering concoction.

"It gives the cocktail a certain kick, don't you think?"

"Yes, I think the term "kick" describes it pretty well", Mordecai replied with a lopsided grin on his lips and took a third swig. The fourth one only made him twitch a little, the fifth one he could finally take without having to hold on to the counter. He carefully sloshed it around his mouth and savoured the strange drink. "What was this beast's name again?"

"Doesn't really have a name", Moxxi replied while cradling her own glass, "It's not up for sale, you know?"

Mordecai nodded thoughtfully. "I can see why."

"However," that naughty smile crept on her face again, "I like to call it 'Miss Moxxi's Love Juice'"

"Interesting...", he drawled absorbed in thought and sampled the drink again. "And what's it made of, except for Eridium? Because I can taste something really familiar." He opened and closed his mouth a few times and smacked his lips, trying to extract the flavour. "Can't put my finger on it though."

"That's a trade secret, sugar." The bartender winked at him sassily cross the edge of her drink. "But I'm sure you'll work it out."

Mordecai ignored the tease. "You know, I think might have it."

"You do?" the bartender lifted an eyebrow and leaned closer, her chest swaying between her propped up arms

"Yeah, just quickly let me double check", he replied and bent down, put his free hand under her chin and kissed her sweet, glistening mouth.

He felt her heat and her wetness, relished her aroma. He felt her full lips part willingly, their tongues intertwining, fueled by old longings.

But suddenly, Moxxi jerked back, her jaw clenching and almost biting off Mordecai's tongue. She stumbled backward until she bumped into the bottle rack. The hunter watched in utter confusion. He quickly vaulted across the counter to hold her and keep her from stumbling over. "What the hell happened?" In his voice lay serious concern.

Moxxi steadied herself, looked up and shook her head incredulously. Then, she burst into clangorous laughter. "I really had forgotten how strong this stuff is."

"What stuff?", he asked, still bewildered, "Do you mean-", he pointed at his half-empty glass, "_That_ stuff?"

"Yup." She pushed herself away from the shelf.

"You mean if I drink this," he pointed at the glass, "And then..." he pointed at her.

"Kicks like a Goliath without his helmet." She grinned.

"I'm so sorry, my dear. I had-"

"No, don't be! It was just a little... unexpected." She tucked back an unruly strand of hair and then looked at him. She suddenly seemed strangely shy and girlish.

The hunter studied her face, the noble cheekbones accentuated by the powdered, pale skin. The arched, confident eyebrows, the dark and sensual lashes. And those eyes, those glowing emerald eyes... He could lose himself in them.

"As long as it was only the drink..." a familiar smirk appeared on his lips as he slowly reached for his glass. He downed it in one hearty swig, put his left arm around Moxxi, pulled her close and dug his right hand into her chestnut hair before kissing her with all the fervent passion accrued over all those years.

**At last, we are getting to the juicy parts in the next chapter!**


	6. Longing

**All right, this is where the story content gets explicit. The rating has been changed to M.**

He tasted her, oh how he tasted her. All the memories and and feelings that had been dormant for an eternity awoke at once and took full possession of him. He opened himself to them and welcomed the old feelings he had been missing for so long. He relished the warmth of his lost love's body and basked in her fragrance.

Moxxi briefly pulled her lips away from his mouth, just long enough to make him open his eyes. There was a glow of deep longing in her gaze while she licked her lip and inhaled sharply. This time, she did not balk when the combined force of the Eridium, sugar, alcohol and whatever else hit her. Instead, she descended onto his mouth with burning fervor. Mordecai felt her manicured fingernails dig into his neck and back while she thrust her tongue into his mouth, bit his lip and covered his neck in love bites. He started panting from the excitement.

Her spirits roused and desires rekindled, the brunette minx threw her arms around his neck and slung her right leg over his hip to pull her closer to him.

The hunter leaned into her advance and grasped her haunch. His hands moved past the frilly garter of her stocking and dug into the exquisite naked thigh. He gently squeezed the supple flesh, felt her warmth.

She purred with twinkling eyes and nibbled at his ear, teasing him to go further.

Mordecai sucked on the heated skin of her neck in response. He shoved his hand under the tail of her coat, following the pleasant curve of her bent thigh and grabbed Moxxi's rotund ass.

A breathy "Oh Sugar" escaped the barmaid's lips before the vault hunter got hold of her mouth and sealed it again with a deep kiss, all the while tenderly massaging her behind.

He slipped a finger under the lacy waistband of her turquoise panties and sent his exploring thumb down the fold between her raised thigh and abdomen. He could feel the heat emanating from her core, the sweat condensing on her skin as he nudged towards her mound. Her body tensed under the brush of his delving hand and goosebumps rushed across her figure.

Moxxi grabbed his head with both hands and clenched her bent right leg, pulling herself right up against the Vault Hunter's already distended groin.

Mordecai's right hand was deeply interwoven in Moxxi's dark chestnut curls. He cradled her delicate head and let her forehead lean against his. For a heartbeat they remained motionless, entwined and absorbed in each other's eyes.

Their noses rubbed together in a little jaunty game, not quite sure which side to go, but then Moxxi suddenly pulled his head down to her, dodged his nose leaned in. With a fulfilled hum her lips found his mouth.

**I am sorry this was such a short chapter! But I really wanted to give you an upload this weekend.**


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